Good evening. It’s my first post, in what should be a number of new ones. I’m recently FUNemployed… and I’ve decided to channel some of my energy into writing…
One of my strengths is that I’m a Maximizer.
People like me “Seek to transform something strong into something superb.”
And I believe we’re called to more than we’re settling for…
Check out the below clip!
Context: Mark Driscoll, lead pastor at Mars Hill Church, is teaching a sermon series on Marriage, and he’s letting people know what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
What’s the thing that stuck out to you the most?
I mean, initially it’s the “HOW DARE YOU!” part.
Mark addresses all the normal things a pastor should, criticizing all forms of abuse, usury, and calls boys out for treating their women as less than they should (including using pornography).
However, he also calls males out for NOT doing what they should, and this is what I’d like to talk about… especially in relation to my Maximizer strength. In the midst of calling out men for blatantly sinning, he then proceeds to call them out for what normally aren’t considered sins…
“Shame on you if you say you’re a Christian… if you have been surrounded by good men but have pursued none of them…. And shame on you if you’ve not joined a community group so you can walk in darkness…” [edited for space]
What he’s in essencely [Yes, I’m allowed to make up words, it’s my blog] doing is hitting the terrible truth about being a serious Christian (another blog).
As Christians, it’s not enough that we simply not sin.
That’s the base standard for ALL humans (we just happen to have the power to not do that in the Christ.)
We as Christians are called to a higher standard.
What is acceptable for non-Christians, is our base calling.
WAIT! Christiaan, he said “shame on you if you’ve not joined a community group so you can walk in darkness.”
HA! That doesn’t apply to me or my boyfriend because they’re not choosing to walk in darkness to get away from things…
Nice try. In reality, when not in fellowship with people to hold you accountable, mentor and teach you… and just relying on church and your personal study, when you have the opportunity to do more, you’re walking in darkness.
You’re purposely not allowing people around you to shine the light on you, your actions, or what you’re living.
He’s arguing, and I agree Christian males, if we’re supposed to consider us ready to be a man, and be in a relationship we must not simply treat our significant other respectfully, but we have to be bettering ourselves OUTSIDE of the relationship, and pursuing that. Pursuing maturity in our Christian walk, outside of factors of, “she wants me to” “she’ll break up with me if I didn’t” or “I need to do this so she will.” But instead “I need to get closer to God because that’s what’s most important in life.”
When it comes down to it, that is the only thing that should be truly important.
It’s the only way you’re going to be able to truly treat a woman right and live up to the biblical mandate of a husband – to serve her, and love her as Christ loved the church.
Mark continues by saying: “You guys are a joke and there’s a handful of good men tired of picking up your mess so you step up, you shut up, you man up… if you’re here with your girlfriend, you apologize. If you’re a little boy, you break up with her in love, and you tell her that you’re not ready, and she deserves better. Because God’s daughters need to be loved like Christ loved the church.”
And that’s a powerful message, and I would argue it applies to those males who pursue relationships with girls and either use the addition of extra bible studies or seeking mentorship with guys to manipulate the girl.
Wow! That’s mean to say manipulate…
But let’s be serious. IF a male only starts seeking extra church/personal bible studies with others when they’re in a relationship (especially if he’s doing it for her), right after one broke up because they weren’t a spiritual leader in an attempt to win the girl back. It’s more than likely a way to manipulate/deceive the girl into thinking they are someone they’re not, to win the girl.
That bothers me… and I can’t inherently hold the girls responsible for not demanding more because Christian girls, rarely hold out for men [and that’s another blog post].
But this is about males…
I’m 100% with Mark on this.
As someone who is tired of seeing women settle for less than they deserve, someone who is tired of seeing people he cares about be excited and think it’s special that males do what should be a standard practice…
Something needs to change males, our reaction to the above should be like mine…
“Good… I’m glad he’s doing what should be standard for any Christian relationship… where does the exciting part come in?”
Now, for those guys who are seeking extra-church bible study and mentorships, or are in them.
You’re sure to see amazing things happen in your life…
ESPECIALLY if your heart is right, and you’re doing it for Jesus, and not a girl
(the side effect is that typically God blesses you with a girl through your obedience.) [I have yet to experience this.]
On my end, when I was employed and things were right… I had 1-2 special lunch meet ups with men I respected and looked up to. 1-2 weekly bible studies, one with older men who could mentor me (I’m 27 remember), and another to edify me through fellowship and participation. When doing all that (and I’m not the only one to think this or discuss this happening) there is the temptation to think, “Ok, I’m doing things right… so where’s my girl!” or “Wait, I’m doing all these things right, why is the girl I like… picking someone else who isn’t doing all this stuff.” But that’s when the heart comes into play. Why are you really doing it?
– Mr. Funkhouser